An unstructured rant of the sexual inequality between men and women regardless of equal sexual demands as beings of love and connection.


For some reason the issue of promiscuity has been raised frequently in conversations I have engaged in lately. Maybe it has to do with the age of the majority of my girlfriends and I who are all in our 20’s  but it seems as if an ongoing concern is about maintaining the perfect balance between prude and promiscuity. Personally I am yet to discover such. (Edit: my beloved housemate Scott has just informed me that 7 is supposedly the magic number of men that a woman is allowed to have sex with, whoever came up with that.)

Don’t be a virgin but don’t have sex; unless you are in a relationship depending on your age and your age difference and how long you have dated and whether he is a virgin and the setting of course; don’t be that girl who has sex for the first time in the back of a car, that’s perverted, but don’t be a prude either like you don’t have to be in a bed, live a little.

Obviously no matter how you do it, his subsequent response is the conclusive measurement for whether you were in position to honor your sexual or emotional desires; or to simply give into pressure from the predator who impersonates the direct reflection of your self-worth: If after your sexual engagement he consents to repeating this, you meet your obligation as a woman to please a man as he pleases; if not, regardless of his pleasure or your expectations, you are a slut and subject to shame.

As a woman, regardless of your needs and desires, you should only engage in sexual encounters with so many men; no man wants to be with a slut. Nor should a woman engage in sex on a first date but also recognise that he will undoubtedly try to have sex with you on your first date; and if you don’t give your consent he will perceive you as a prude or simply disregard your agenda, aware that in perception of society women who are sexually assaulted “ask for it”. Oh and don’t loose faith even though it is seemingly only socially acceptable to have been with so many men disregarding the fact that most men will only care to be with you once; this proves not to be an issue as although honouring your desires is immoral lying about just how frequently you have dared to do it anyway is not. Convenient isn’t it?

By definition a slut is a sexually immoral woman and I cannot help but wonder what is so immoral about giving in to your desires and in that, concurrently, accommodating another beings desires. Additionally a slut is defined as a prostitute: A woman receiving money in exchange for sex. Personally, I know of not a single woman called out as a slut who has ever received anything but judgement.

If embracing your sexuality as a woman and your inherent demand of connection as a human being is what society defines as promiscuity, then I think being called out as a slut is a compliment.


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